Chris’s Top 10 Metal Songs of 2006

What a year it has been for me. Without question this has been the most interesting year in terms of my music development. Yes, I say development simply because every time I listen to something new, be it a new band or an already established one with a new album, it becomes a lesson, a never-ending education and a journey of music. Sounds girly but oh well.

So without anymore ado that is sanely necessary, I present you, Chris’s Top 10 Metal Songs of 2006:

1. Deicide – Homage for Satan

Forget the stupid lyrics. Been there, killed Jesus yadda yadda. It’s not even remotely menacing or meaningful (for lack of a better word); it’s just a song with absolutely mindless lyrics. I used to hate, loathe, abhor, detested and other related synonyms Deicide. I thought Glen Benton was the silliest death metal vocalist (I still think he is) ever. The entire album you can hear him belching and squeal like a pig. But who gives a shit? Just listen to Ralph Santolla’s solo and you’ll understand why this is my choice for the number one metal song of 2006.

2. Mercenary – Lost Reality

The brutal Danish biscuits are back! I was a happy demonic bunny when news of their recent album said that while it doesn’t top their previous album, 11 Dreams, it does sound great. This song has dominated my playlist ever since I got it not too long ago and it jumped all the way to the second spot on the strength of the vocals and the harmonies. This is some top-notch stuff here people. Makes latter day Soilwork and In Flames sound like Incubus (they suck big time and all you Brandon Boyd fans out there can shoo off).

3. Vader – As Heavens Collide

I was close to writing these Polish legends off my list when they released the album preceding this. It was horrible. I was blown away when I first heard Wings which in my opinion is their best song EVER! but this plain sucked. When Doc (R.I.P dude) was unceremoniously ejected from the drummer’s chair, he was replaced by a drummer who I felt didn’t capture Doc’s imaginative and downright brutal style. So when this new album surfaced I thought what the heck, I’ll give these guys another go. It was like listening to Wings again. I was blown away only much further and harder. The opening drum and guitar assault of this makes me want to rip every single teddy bear in a department store. It’s that good.

4. Suffocation – Redemption

Frank Mullen may not possess anymore the deep, guttural, demonic rumble that scared me shitless when I was wee lad but he still manages to keep it low enough as opposed to the hoarse, vomit-sounding whisper of latter day Lord Worm (their last album was a big letdown vocally). What’s interesting about this song is that it’s not uncompromisingly brutal like Hate Eternal or blindingly fast like Deicide, it’s just simply mind-crushingly devastating.

5. Gadget – Day of the Vulture

I was never the biggest fan of grind. I love the godly Nasum (R.I.P Mieszko), the one-off genius of Terrorizer (I say one-off because I repudiate unreservedly the latest album), and I dig some Napalm Death. Clocking in at a lengthy 2:25 (it’s an eternity in grind terms), these four Danish madmen pound the listener unremittingly. Excellent if you’ve had a rough day and that My Chemical Romance sound rather pusillanimous (I like this word!) this is the song for you.

6. Zyklon – Vulture

While I read the reviews saying how brutal this song is I was salivating slightly. One of the better bands to have graduated from the school of Morbid Angel, this is off their 3^rd album. Initially, I was disappointed. I thought with a much better production and a tighter understanding of each other they would have upped the ante a little. Unfortunately, no. I’ve been spoilt rotten by all the brutal stuff lately and listening to this reminds me of Pantera; it’s brutal but not quite. Nevertheless it’s catchy and I love barking “Vulture!”

7. Yyrkoon – Signs

Oddly, this song is not even in the regular version of the album. It’s a bonus track off the digipak version. It’s a classic Yyrkoon song: drums hard-hitting, thrashy death metal riffs and features the distinct distorted vocals of Steph. It’s basically—I dare say—an all out “fun-sounding” death metal song.

8. DragonForce – Through the Fire and Flames

Hahahaha! The band’s name itself always elicits a derisive girly giggle from me. How can you respect a band that obviously revels in being goofy, fantastical and bloody fast all at the same time? Screw the respect, just headbang wildly and haphazardly. Old women watch out!

9. Arsis – I Speak Through Shadows

Unholy fruitcake of Beelzebub! For all you people who think that current American metal is Trivium and Lamb of God, think again. Think real hard. Arsis is a two-man band and they’ve put out the most harsh-sounding melodic death metal record of the year and this song is the best of the bunch. The end alone makes me want to thrash wildly and snip off my neighbours flowers. It’s that good.

10. Slayer – Cult

When I first heard this I was thoroughly disappointed. I thought that since Dave Lombardo is back on the skin-beating throne, the drumming would be top class. Marred by a horrible kick-drum sound (it sounds like rapid mouse clicks), Cult is yet another religion bashing, religion hating, thrash ditty that surprisingly gets better with more listens. It’s only the list because I don’t have many albums from 2006 and Iron Maiden’s latest is too patchy at times.

So there you have it. There’s not much variety I know since almost half of it is death metal but this year saw me rekindle my fervid fixation of all things mindlessly brutal.

Till then, I welcome 2007 with the devil horns!

Cornetto Love? Perhaps Blah Blah Bleh

The middle one is my favourite. Nice, um, accent.

"I tried my best and I have no regrets at all."

No, this isn’t about that dude who single-handedly cemented the fate of all Chinese geeks that they can’t sing for shit but rather my attempts at attracting the opposite sex (I’ve gotten some looks from gay men before and it’s really not the most pleasant feeling in the world). This is about a show which has just concluded and declared its “winners”. A series with more twist than Twisties, the show had garnered a loyal following of about a dozen people and all of them were on the show.

Would I enter a contest—a show on TV—to find love? I can’t really say for sure. My personal opinion is that these kinds of shows merely perpetrate the notion of finding love rather than cultivating it. How can any sane, gorgeous, smart and oh so lovely woman, choose a guy after 12 episodes? These guys have to strut, play the fool, entertain like a court jester, charm like snake charmer to win their way into the heart of their desired woman. It’s like how animals want to reproduce. Female peacocks don’t choose the more caring males who are sensitive, they choose the male that can impress them the most. The bigger the tail, the better.

We’ve finally reached the end of Cornetto’s Love? Perhaps. A show that had built itself considerable suspense and enough intrigue to keep most people interested but the grand finale, the shocking climax, ended up being the mother of anticlimaxes. It was humdrum at its most humdrum. Nothing surprised me. It was all way too much and far too little. It’s a show that is both silly and puzzling and somewhat demeaning. Oh yes, there was the obligatory back-stabbing, clandestine alliances, and the gorgeous host who tried in desperation to keep the wheels of suspense turning even though it was flat right from the get-go. She’s gorgeous all right but really, she should be doing something else other than hosting.

One of the taglines of the show was “Play the game of love and be a winner,” or something to that fact, I don’t really remember on account of the absurdity of it all and me watching Amazing Race. But is love a game? Personally, I would never call it that. I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to the matters of the heart even though I’m a metalhead with one of the metal of hearts.

Imagine if you’re the “winner”. What are you going to say to people, that I won a goddamn show and here’s my girlfriend who’s also the grand prize? But let’s stop for a while and eat my year’s supply of Cornetto’s. Would you be yourself?

A previous post of mine mentioned that:

I would I guess what I’m trying to say is that 99% of the time I’m very glad that my money is all mine to spend, but when the 1% does happen, I do wish I had a special someone to share it with.

Thanks to Lia, the above is juvenile and silly and I didn’t think it through properly. The meaning was there, it was just worded in the most ghastly of sentences. You guys get the gist, right?

Here’s to the next season.