Vader – Litany

What do you get when you combine a thick Polish accent which leads to a lot of mispronounced words with songs under the 3-minute mark yet is packed to the brim?

This album.

The very first thing you notice (and feel) when you press Play is the colossal wall of sound coming out of your speakers. Then, you sense the floor shake a bit. The glass of water beside your bed is precariously sliding down, threatening to spill its contents. You grab it in the nick of time but by then your bodily functions cease to obey your commands. Your head starts headbanging rapidly while your arms and legs start flailing like a yoga instructor on crack.

There are couple of things one needs to do first in order to listen to this without having to call the paramedics and possibly, the furniture shop: restrain yourself from watching American Idol, don’t see cute things and most importantly, eat something. An empty is the bane of any headbanging session. You don’t want to see the pizza you ate an hour ago come out looking nothing like the aforesaid pizza, do you?

Now sit back and imagine, if you will, a bass drum the size of a small buffalo. Next, with that image in your mind’s eye, picture two bass drums the size of a small buffalo. That image in your head probably best represents Doc’s bass drum because the sound is ginormous. Some say it’s too much and drowns the other instruments. I say bring it on! Playing this album at high volumes produces an effect somewhat similar to the power of a small earthquake. With opening song, Wings, pounding your speakers, your body is left to ponder, when will it end? The answer lies nearly 30 minutes later as Vader unleash 10 more songs to damage your hearing and cause severe trauma to your sanity.

Frontman Peter (possibly the most un-death metal of names) leads his merry bandmates to uncover ways in which to punish those who choose to listen to their death-thrash laden, clear vocal approach (and I don’t mean clear in the Dream Theater sense, only that Peter’s delivery is not of the barking helldog variety) brand of Polish death metal. When you say Poland, you think of, well, carpentry, but these boys pummel you with their onslaught of death metal goodness. Peter’s songs are not meant for cerebral dissection at Mensa parties. This is how good death metal is played: fast, brutal and leaves you begging for more. Some long-time fans have said that the material here is tepid and uninspired compared to their earlier releases. It’s their lost, I guess. I love the fact that I can spin this, and for the next half hour or so I will be thoroughly entranced.

Of course, my hearing may take a severe beating and my neighbours may contemplate calling the cops but there’s no way you can play this softly. It’ll be like trying to bake a cake with a toaster. It just wouldn’t work, right?

This review is in memory of Doc (R.I.P). May your drums batter the Metal Gods!

Initial Review: 8/10

Current Review: 8/10