Behemoth – Demigod

This album is like eating one of your favourite chocolate bars. Only that it’s too little and is a bit old. I get that feeling every time I listen to this.

When I first heard Behemoth way back in 2002, I thought they were going to be the best death metal band. They are certainly more recognised now, that’s for sure. But are they better? It’s mostly yeses but there are some nos. On the brutal side of things, they’ve raised their game ten-fold. Inferno now pounds his drums to oblivion as opposed to gently whacking the crap out of it on previous occasions and the guitars are much faster now. In terms of songwriting, though, well, let’s talk a look, shall we?

The first thing you’ll notice after the first few seconds of obligatory silence is how clean and clear it sounds. And because of that, the most annoying aspect of this album is the multi-layered vocals. The clarity of the production makes it sound as though there are three Nergals. To put it into perspective, imagine a Nergal to your left, a Nergal to your right and a Nergal right in front of you. Not nice at all, I'm pretty sure of it. For the uninitiated, this may seem the epitome of brutality. After all, since it’s brutal and intimidating to have a dude bark his lungs out, then why not have more, right? Wrong. For a seasoned listener such as I, this merely annoys the heck out of me. And the solos? Let’s just say that the band needs someone who can unleash them with more force because their solos are quite frankly forgettable.

But it is the songs that leave me with a bitterer aftertaste. Gone are the longer, more thought-out songs from previous album, Zos Kia Cultus (Here and Beyond), in its place are songs that focus on brutality and more brutality. I have no problems with brutality, but, in my opinion, Nergal is way too smart to employ such trite tactics to try and jig things up. Towards Babylon, Xul and Slaves Shall Serve are songs that will pummel your head in but by the time you press Stop you’re hankering for more; so you grab your old Morbid Angel album. Memorable? Here and there. But the most disappointing song has got be The Reign Ov Shemsu-Hor. It starts off with some nice tribal beats and the main riff is pretty good. At slightly over 8 minutes long you’d think this is going to epic. It doesn’t. Not even near. It’s overwrought, bloated and mismatched. Brutal bit here, melody underneath it, multi-layered vocals here, and the awful ending with the silly blasting just makes it rubbish. And not even the usage of the kvlt word Ov helps.

Some have unflatteringly called them the Polish version of Nile. I call them the band with so much potential but in their valiant efforts to be very “death metal,” they forget to write timeless classics. Mind you, their material is hard to play and imitate but there’s nothing uniquely binding to it. But to be fair, the blame rests on the shoulders on mainman, Nergal. He’s talented, hardworking and is a pretty darn good frontman. (I’ve seen some of the live stuff and he speaks with such authoritative force you can’t help but want to whack the person next to you if he commands you to.) But from listening to this I get the impression that that he’s holding back.

What a shame.

Initial Rating: 8/10

Current Rating: 4/10

"We must fight, to run away!"

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

It just goes to show that you can’t just rely on old tricks and trite hey-I-think-I-know-this-from-somewhere scenarios to make moviegoers forget that the movie they’re currently watching is actually poorly thought-out, lacklustre and completely disappointing. This is a movie that is destined to be a guaranteed cash cow that will leave audiences either clamouring for more or relieved that this shit is finally over. I think you know which side I’m on.

I remember leaving the cinema feeling excited and truly entertained after the first one. Johnny Depp really made an impact and his eccentricities were such a highlight for me that I even copied some of his mannerisms. Yes, even that running style. It certainly was the role of a lifetime for him. In this, however, his character is reduced to a caricature of the first film. The trademark eccentrics are still there, yes, but there’s only so much flailing and funny faces one can pull to salvage a goner. I really wanted to like his performance but I left the hall feeling cheated.

I hate when films try to be too smart, just look at the final Matrix movie. It, too, suffered from a storyline that got bloated with trying to cram in as much as possible. Haven’t these people heard of the saying, Sometimes less is more? The second POTC had some of the best action sequences in recent times, and even though it was a disappointment for me, it still was somewhat tolerable. This one made me want to doze off. (And I really couldn’t for there was this amorous young couple who couldn’t stop doing things to each other, which further sullied my watching experience. I wanted to murder them.) There was just far too many double-crossing going on that it made keeping track of them a tedious affair. One minute they’re double-crossing one pirate and the next they get double-crossed and the next…With pointless subplots involving Keira Knightley reprising her Pride and Prejudice role only swords and Orlando ‘Where are my elf ears?’ Bloom, the whole movie became diluted with convolution.

Surprisingly, Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa made this otherwise insipid and confusticating movie watchable with his very pirate-y performance. He is what I think pirates would’ve been like: charismatic, cantankerous and inspirational to those around him. Plus, his pirate-y voice is spot on though there were times I couldn’t understand him. The rest were made to look pretty and the fake smudges on the likes of Bloom and Knightley made more fake.

It really is too bad that it has to “end” (the next one better be good, but in all honesty, I hope it doesn’t materialise) this way. This was an absolute waste of 3 hours.

PS: I don’t get it, but please, please tell me what the hell is so funny when Chow Yun-Fat utters the soon-to-be copied by many idiots phrase of, “Welcome to Singapore.” As a Malaysian, I don’t see how this can make you laugh out loud. I guess if he said Welcome to Malaysia instead we would have banned it for, blimey, thinking that Malaysia is a haven for Chinese pirates who strangely love to have baths in little wooden bathtubs.